FAQs
These are just a selection of questions that people frequently ask us about our way of life. Click on the questions to get to the answer.
What criteria do you have to fulfil to become a nun?
What is the hardest thing about being a nun?
What is the best thing about being a nun?
Can you recommend good books on prayer and the spiritual life?
Do you have ‘Monastic Experience’ weekends or days?
What do your families think about you being a nun?
Do you change your name from your baptismal name and if you do, why do you do this?
How often do you see your families and friends?
Why don’t you have a job like teaching or nursing?
Do you grow all your own vegetables?
What do the words ‘vocation’, ‘enclosure’ and ‘formation’ mean?
Can you leave the Order if you want to?
How can I find out more about Carmelite spirituality?
Do you think you have a vocation to the Carmelite way of life but have a question that is not listed?
to find out.
Are you a silent order? ‘The Silence of Carmel’ is important but so is our community life! We are ‘hermits in community’ and we seek to live both these aspects as an integrated whole. Recreation time gives us the opportunity to relax and to talk and listen to each other. During the work day we generally work alone but there are times when we need to communicate with each other. Its not so much about rigid rules, than about respecting the other sisters and the atmosphere needed for prayer. Return to questions.
What criteria do you have to fulfil to become a nun? The people who are in Carmel are all different. God creates us uniquely so we definitely don’t have one ‘type’ of person in Carmel and our backgrounds are all very different too. Women looking to enter Carmel need to be Catholics who are involved in their faith. You also need to be single and without dependent children. Sometimes a woman who is not Catholic or who is divorced wonders if she has a call to Carmel. While this might be the case her vocation journey would need to include resolving these aspects.
Sometimes we are asked if men can follow a similar life to a Carmelite nun. In Britain and in most of the world Carmelite brothers live as friars rather than monks. This means that they live the Carmelite charism in a slightly different way. Return to questions.
What is the hardest thing about being a nun? This would be different for each of us and can change during a persons lifetime. However we all agree that whatever the difficulties its worth it! Return to questions.
What is the best thing about being a nun? Again, each one of us would answer this in a different way but we can all say that if this is what you are called to, it is an amazing privilege and joy. Return to questions.
Can you recommend good books on prayer and the spiritual life? Yes, but everyone has different needs and is at a different stage of their journey. There are good sites on the net and there are good bookshops but the best thing is to find a good spiritual director/ accompanier. This personal contact makes a difference. (Follow this link if you would like to go to carmelitebook.com) Return to questions.
Do you have ‘Monastic Experience’ weekends or days? Yes. If you are a young, single Catholic woman between the ages of 18-35 and feel that you are being called to the Carmelite way of life Contact Us for details of the next weekend. Return to questions.
How do you earn your living? Our main work income comes from selling altar breads. Go to Our Work page for details. Return to questions.
Do you always wear the habit? We can wear suitable work clothes. This is for health and safety reasons as well as just making life easier when doing heavy work. The habit though, is our normal clothing. Return to questions.
What do your families think about you being a nun? There are different reactions among family members and close friends. Often it is very difficult for them. We try to be sensitive when there are difficulties and honour the importance of these special people and relationships. Return to questions.
Do you change your name from your baptismal name and if you do, why do you do this? We don’t have to change our name. We only do this if we wish. In the scriptures a lot of importance is placed on names and naming. A name can be changed to signify God’s call and a corresponding change in the person. Our names are a gift, rich in imagery and significance. Return to questions.
Do you watch TV? For the vast amount of time, no. We only use a TV to watch DVDs or recordings on some feast days or special occasions. Also if there is some news of major importance we might watch that. Return to questions.
How often do you see your families and friends? We don’t go out to visit people but our families and friends can visit us. The frequencies and durations of visits will depend on various circumstances. Usually the novitiate period of initial formation is the time when we learn how to adapt to this. Return to questions.
Do you have holidays? Not in the way you would normally think of them! We don’t fly off to Spain or anywhere else. Because we are enclosed contemplative nuns we usually stay in our monastery so ‘going away’ on holiday isn’t an option. We do have an individual retreat. This means that at different times we each take 10 days to relax, and ‘have a holiday with the Lord’.
The monastic life is designed to be a balanced life, the rhythm of the life is very different to what people have nowadays normally experienced. The balance of the life includes individual retreats, ‘hermit days’, liturgical celebration and ‘feasts’, (that is holy days i.e. holidays!) community celebrations, talks, ‘recreations’ and community retreats and the alternation of the ‘hermit’ and ‘community’ life as well as alternation of prayer ‘times’, manual work, meditative reading, study etc. (See the rest of the web site for details). It is certainly a challenging life on all sorts of different levels but it is structured to be healthy and life-giving. Return to questions.
What do you do at Christmas? Christmas (like Easter which is the major celebration of the Christian faith and the churches year) is a time to enjoy feasting and friendship. Christ is not just ‘in Christmas’ but is at the centre of our celebrations and the reason for it all. Our ‘feasting’ at Christmas, like all the Church’s feasts are about celebrating holy days or holidays and we ‘feast’ at the Mass and all our liturgical celebrations as well as at the dinner table. Return to questions.
Why don’t you have a job like teaching or nursing? Because we believe that we are called to a particular contemplative witness and a life of prayer for the Church and the world. See the section Our Life of Prayer. Return to questions.
Please will you pray for me? Yes! Our prayer is for everyone. If you have a special intention or request that you would like us to pray about you can Contact Us through this site. (We are not able to enter into correspondence but we will be praying for you). Return to questions.
Do you grow all your own vegetables? No, although we do grow a lot of fruit and vegetables and we enjoy eating them. Return to questions.
Why did you become a nun? Each person’s vocation story is wonderful and unique but we are all here because God called us to this type of life. Return to questions.
What do the words ‘vocation’, ‘enclosure’ and ‘formation’ mean? There are quite a few words that we use both in the Church and in ‘Religious Life’ that can be unfamiliar in today’s society. Here are a few:-
Vocation: This is God’s unique call to you. In the Church there are ways of describing how a person can live their vocation.
- A person can have a vocation to the married way of life or they may live in society as a single person (who hasn’t taken any vows of the Church and who isn’t ordained). Many people are called to witness to their faith in this way and it is a special and important vocation.
- Some single people are called to consecrated life and they take vows recognised by the Church. This is sometimes called ‘religious life’. Sisters, brothers, nuns, friars and monks are all ways of describing consecrated people.
- The Church recognises that some men have a vocation to the ordained priesthood. Ordained priests can sometimes be in one of the other ‘categories' too, for example a consecrated man may also be ordained.
Although we can group ‘life styles’ so that certain types have common elements, each vocation is unique because God has created each of us uniquely. Your vocation is God’s unique call to you. It is our life’s task and our joy to discern and live our vocation ever more deeply. See the Formation page and Discerning Your Vocation for more about the Carmelite vocation.
Enclosure: We are an enclosed community. This means that we do not leave the monastery other than in exceptional circumstances. The physical nature of monastic enclosure is very striking to most people but the inner reality of enclosure is particularly important. It is comparatively easy to think of enclosure in terms of physical boundaries or space but the purpose of enclosure is to ‘tend the fire’, to be attentive to the treasure and open ourselves in utter availability for God. This is the task of all the baptised. It is simply that we have freely chosen enclosed life because God has called us to live out our baptism in this privileged way.
Formation: Basically this is growing in God. If we are willing, God leads us on a life-long adventure of growth. We need to learn to be responsive to The Holy Spirit so that we are continually ‘formed’ and led by the Spirit in every event of our life. Return to questions.
What do you do all day? Sometimes its difficult for people to understand how a community dedicated to prayer and without paid employment can function. See Our Daily Life page for the general structure of our day as well as Our Work and the other parts of the site. Return to questions.
Can you leave the Order if you want to? Becoming a nun is a long process (See our FORMATION pages). Within this time there are many stages where the person and the community discerns and decides whether to continue to the next stage. It is only at final profession that the sister takes her vows for life. The care taken over the first steps of discernment and in the stages of initial formation mean that a person is investigating her vocation as fully as possible. This may lead her to realise that her vocation lies somewhere other than Carmel. This discovery of vocation, where ever it may be, is of extreme importance. We chose this life freely and are meant to be happy and grow in the life. If a sister who was finally professed decided to leave she could. There is a process which is equivalent to the annulment of a marriage although obviously it is not a step to be taken lightly. Return to questions.
What time do you get up? This is a question we are often asked! We get up at 5:30am. Go to Our Daily Life page to see a typical day in the monastery. Return to questions.
How can I find out more about Carmelite spirituality? We hope that this site gives you a taste of the Carmelite spirit from the perspective of our community at Ware Carmel. There are lots of other Carmelite sites for you to explore. Also why not make contact with a Carmelite community near you? We are a world-wide family and among others, there are communities of nuns, friars and ‘seculars’ (also called tertiaries). The Carmelite charism is alive and fruitful in many different ways.
The Carmelite book shop is a good place to start (especially if you live in the U.K.).
